What you see is what you get

Posted by on May 22, 2011 in Love, The Purpose of Life, Uncategorized | No Comments


Part of being human is to judge, we can look at someone and identify that he is hot, skinny, buff, nice, rude, loud, inconsiderate, selfish, funny, confident ect. It is not hard to see traits of people’s personalities and characteristics.  But you know that special someone that can really just get under your skin? For some reason they can trigger you like no other! Lets talk about that unique relationship for a minute.

There is nothing wrong with noticing how someone is but when it disturbs your peace and you get upset now we have something to talk about! I am going to expose a little secret into how to deal with these people!

Each and every one of us acts as a mirror for each other. So when I look at someone and get upset because they are selfish, they are simply mirroring back to me my own selfishness. The reason it bothers me so much is because I haven’t been able to accept that part of myself, so when I see it in someone else it drives me crazy! Whenever you point the finger at someone else there are always three (of your own) fingers pointing back at you!

The purpose of life is to learn, grow, and progress and most especially learn to love; to love ourselves and others. The fastest way to learn and progress is through our relationships. For every relationship we engage in, we are seeing parts of ourselves in the other person that we can now work on in ourselves.

Each relationship is a gift of knowledge to see different aspects of ourselves we couldn’t see on our own. I am a mirror for you and you are a mirror for me. What you despise in me is what you despise about yourself.

The contrary is true as well. When there is someone you admire or put up on a pedestal you are simply seeing positive attributes of yourself that you have yet to develop as fully. If you can spot it in another it is also yours!

So with this all comes a great opportunity. First of all it can improve your relationships as you go forward because now you realize it isn’t about them at all but rather it is all about you! So when you get triggered you can take a step back and look at yourself and your life and identify how you are acting in a similar manner. Ask yourself these three questions to get clear:

1.       How am I treating others like this?

2.       How am I treating myself like this?

3.       How am I treating God like this?

Once you see it, accept it and have compassion on that part of yourself. Then simply forgive yourself for giving into that judgment against the other person and yourself. Acknowledge you too can be the same way then accept it is part of being human and go forward more aware of who you are and how you would like to show up in the world.

This whole theory is called projection and it is a great tool to help us see the hidden parts of ourselves that hold us back in life from being who we want to be and accomplishing what we want to accomplish. The key to getting past it all once you see it is simply accept, love and have compassion. Giving love and compassion to yourself and to those you had judged. We are all one and the same, and what you see is what you get!

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