How many of us have wondered what this thing called love is? What is this feeling of romance that makes all things seem bright and full of life? Yet can suddenly depart, turning our lives upside down leaving us raw and abandoned. For most of my life love has remained a mystery.

For the last ten months I have been wrapped up in trying to understand what love is. Serious contemplation began as I suddenly felt myself slipping into what we refer to as romantic love. I was totally enchanted with the high of a relationship. At the same time as this euphoric bliss, I was crazy scared due to how vulnerable I felt. I was afraid that if he left, the love I felt would go away with him. This twisted combination of emotions left me feeling totally out of control. As I was desperately trying to get a grasp on it all, the relationship ended. I found myself on the flip side of love, dealing with the shock of heartache. How many of you know what I am talking about?

Many of us do as I did and misidentify love with the actual person. When they go so does the love…and we are left in a mess of emotions trying to find the next person to make us feel alive once again (that is if we have the courage to try again, many of us are too hurt over the first experience to give it another try and rather choose the safety of our loneliness).

Well here is a little secret to help save us from the woes of love lost. The truth is love never leaves us. It is impossible to leave. It is part of who we naturally are, a way of being. We just have to surrender into it. Love isn’t this mysterious force driving us without control. Rather is like a light-switch inside of us. We are the ones who choose to turn it on or off, but regardless of which way we put the switch it is always there like an unlimited source of energy. When we meet a certain special individual they only help us realize it is on within us.

The good feelings of being in love are not from the other person’s love, but rather our own love we are giving to them. We are feeling our own love! Does that make sense…when you are in love you are feeling what it feels like to give of YOUR love!

When you find yourself in that longing to find a lover this is only a revelation to you how you are separated from your own love source. You need to strengthen the connection to your own heart once again.

How else do we really think we can make a relationship work? Those of us who are unable to create love within us, and expect the other person to fulfill that for us will ALWAYS be let down and disappointed. Healthy relationships are made out of two whole individuals GIVING of their love. BOTH have to be giving. Seems like common sense, but I hear people over and over again saying he/she doesn’t love me how I want to be loved. They are concerned about how they are receiving the love rather than how they are giving it or if they are even giving it at all!

Find the magic in life that is all around you. Flowers, sunsets, and long walks are all equally as magical in and out of love, yet in love we find these things so much more beautiful. The real beauty comes from being able to enamor yourself. What do I mean? The real magic of love comes from being able to feel it regardless of who else is there to stimulate it within you. The secret is being able to create it within ourselves!

Love is who and what we are, it is a state of being we must seek after and develop. In order to feel love, one must love. In order to have a blessed life you must be a blessing. This means we give up the complaining of all the things we don’t have and create the lives we want, and as we do, appreciating the beauty of all that surrounds us! It means we make extraordinary out of the ordinary. It is an awesome journey and I invite you all to come along!

“Love is a state of being that does not rest upon external circumstances. Regardless of what is, or is not, happening around us, love is something that we generate from within ourselves.” -Katherine Woodward Thomas


  1. Anonymous
    February 11, 2011

    Most birds were created to fly. Being grounded for them is a limitation within their ability to fly, not the other way around. Humans, on the other hand, were created to be loved. So for us to live as if we were unloved is a limitation, not the other way around. Living unloved is like clipping a bird’s wings and removing its ability to fly.

  2. Aaron
    February 11, 2011

    Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more.

    Good point, girl.

  3. Natalie Gianelli
    February 12, 2011

    This is SO on point beautiful girl! It’s all love, we are all love! Love this and love you!

  4. admin
    February 15, 2011

    Dear Anonymous,
    Some clarification would be appreciated. I am not exactly sure what you mean by your poetic analogy but from what I understand you are saying that if we as humans live our lives unloved it is limiting our ability? That by receiving love we are fulfilling our purpose? If that were true each of us would remain powerless in life, for how can we control the emotions of another? How can we force someone to love us? If our happiness is contingent upon the love we receive we remain victims to our surroundings and the actions of others. I believe it impossible for an individual who is in the loving (loving everyone including themselves) not to also be receiving love. If our purpose is to go around receiving love, if that were our main focus, no one would be feeling it. We would all be in vain attempt to try and get others to give us love, and no one would be giving it because we are all just trying to get it.
    I am not saying that it does not feel good to be loved, because it most definitely does. If you go back and re-read this post you will see I never once said to live unloved, rather I am pleading the opposite, to drown yourself in love! To find the love in everything you see and meet. To see beauty all around you. Love will come when we ourselves are loving. Just as a bird flies by flapping his own wings, he must lift himself up with each flap, no other bird can do that for him. But once he is air-bound he may experience the view, with his other friends who also lifted themselves up with their own efforts of flapping. For each of us to fly we must be willing to put forth the effort and love.

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