Recently I heard a story in the news (which is why I don’t watch the news) about two young men who shot and killed some random man. When asked why they did it, they simply said they were bored. Makes perfects sense right? This story blew my mind. How sad it can be that because we get bored this is what boredom can lead to…death.
Now many of you are thinking but obviously these kids had issues to actually kill because of boredom. While that may be true, I do think that boredom , if not treated does lead to death. Your own!
Everybody is slowly dying, this is a fact. We all know death awaits us. So how are you spending your time while still alive?
Are you bored? Are you excited? Are you living a life that thrills you and inspires others around you? If not then you are well…just slowly dying!
So here is how to snap out of it…
GO DO SOMETHING NOVEL!!! Go try something you have never done before, and for the sake of the rest of the world, don’t try murder! Try out some random hobby you have always wanted to learn. Go take a class, go create something, write a poem and share it, make a painting, make a youtube video, go talk to a stranger, learn a language, make a new friend, cook something you have never cooked before. Do something that challenges you or makes you stretch.
Here is the interesting part…or a big clue. Think of something that makes you feel nervous or scared and do that! Every time we feel nervous about trying something new that is usually a good indicator it is in fact something we should do! Sounds scary right? Well if you want to feel alive, I suggest you try it. If you accept my challenge, please let me know what you did and what you got out of it…I double dog dare ya!
I had a friend call me up with a question the other day. She wanted to know what she should do because she felt trapped. She is married and has a child. She has had a lot of fun being a mom and a wife but she said she also feels like there is something inside of her that she needs to let out. A career she has always wanted to pursue but felt like if she followed her passion this would make her a bad mom.
I find her situation interesting and thus why I wanted to share it with you all because on some level I think we all go through this.
Everyone of us has a dream or passion inside wanting to come out and be expressed. Some awesome desire we hold in our heart that wants to come out and be shared with the world. As long as we deny or hide this dream we will live in a state of frustration, anger and a yearning for something more. We can try to push it aside but if it’s a true dream, it will never leave, it will never die.
We serve no one by trying to do “the right thing” and not follow this dream, because it will always bubble up in some sort of way or manner. We may snap at our loved ones and resent or blame them. We may get into addictions to mask our sadness. Or we may even leave those we love because we didn’t find a healthy way to balance the dream inside.
Don’t misunderstand what I am saying here, I am not telling you to be irresponsible and abandon the life you have already created. I am however telling you to stop living in denial of what you came here to do and find a way to fit it into your life. If the dream is there it is there for a reason!
Part of why we don’t go for what we want are the irrational beliefs that what we want is foolish, or stupid, or we have already missed the boat because we are too old, or too fat or too whatever you believe to make you stop trying to fulfill that thing! This is where some good ol’ fashioned self control comes handy!
When you stop denying what you want the next thing to do is not give power to the thoughts that control you to stay small and not try. You have to recognize these thoughts as fear based thoughts and then choose, “do I believe the fear thought or do I decide not to believe in that?”
At this point you may question my practice wondering, “But Davia, I’m just being realistic!” Well guess what? No single person who ever achieved anything great was realistic! They all had naysayers in their life telling them what the limits were and they decided to not listen and push those limits away. These are the people we hear about making amazing things happen in the world. These are the people who didn’t let their irrational beliefs paralyze them in fear. These are the people who are actually living their dreams! And it is possible for all of us, as long as we don’t live in fear.
So you want to have a safe life? Fine go ahead and do what you are doing, try and live with that fire in your heart that you keep denying is there. But if you feel it and you know what I am talking about there is no other way to get rid of the desire then to go for it. Life is about the pursuit and journey, as soon as you start moving towards that dream and you keep working at it you will feel joy. I promise you this, and if not, call me up and Ill give you your money back haha! Good luck and if you have any questions about your specific situation please feel free to email me Daviakingcoaching@gmail.com. I would love to talk to you about your heart’s desire!
Exactly three weeks ago today my sweet Grandma LouDean passed away. I have wanted to write about this sooner but haven’t been able to get myself to do it. How do you capture all that you feel when you lose someone you love? So much emotion runs through me, and hits me like waves. Big pounding waves of grief, and you wonder just like real waves, maybe they will never stop, there will always be one more.
I have yet to experience someone close to me dying. I didn’t think it would feel quite like this…but how do you expect such emotions until you actually go through it? I have three other living grandparents…all of whom are in their nineties, which makes me dread this is just the first of many. There are many deaths to come. This may be the truest sentence I have ever written. Soon my other grandparents will make their passing…and I see my parents are not far behind with all their gray hairs and wrinkles. I do not want to sound depressed or morbid, I am being very honest. The part I still am learning to accept is that yes, I too will die. Everyone I know and everyone you know will die. If you think about it life really is all about death. It is the most natural and common occurrence of life and ONLY guarantee. Yet we all dread and fear it like it is the worst thing ever! Why?
Partly because it is unknown and we fear what we do not know and also because it hurts so bad, I miss my grandma, and I get sad thinking about how I will have to go through that experience over and over and over again with each person I love and then those that love me will have to feel the pain of my death.
There is only one choice and the sooner we make it the sooner we really began to live and make the most of every breath we still have. By choosing death, choosing to accept that I will die and accepting that everyone I know will die, and no longer living in denial of it opens up a whole new way of living. A way that accepts everyone as they are, appreciating every little facet of who they are, of enjoying every moment we actually share, of being present with every hug given and received, of making the most of every opportunity because this is it! THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND EACH DAY COULD BE YOUR LAST DO NOT LET IT GO BY! Have the intention to clear up your lose ends, to make complete your incompletions, to ask forgivness to those whom you have hurt and to forgive those whom have hurt you. Most importantly to love as deep as you ever have, knowing nothing is guaranteed except an unknown expiration date to your life. No more living with regrets, no more living for tomorrow… there simply is no time for that. Today is all we have. Today we live.
I bet most of you who know me didn’t know I am an artist.Well I am and last night I had my first show! Most of the paintings I had, I did in the last couple months just for fun without any real purpose at all, just felt the desire to paint and so well… I painted. Then I found outabout a group show being held by some fellow students from USM. I asked if I could also participate and it was on baby!
A little background story…Growing up I was artistic, or rather creative, but drawing wasn’t an obvious gift…yet. My teachers in elementary school told my parents to put me in art classes since they saw my creativity. I began numerous drawing classes so I could learn how to draw, but it wasn’t natural for me like some people who are just talented at recapturing exactly what they see. I found the whole process taxing and not fun at all, but I did enjoy putting the colors down after the drawings were finished.
As I got older and saw this was now a talent of mine I was unsure how to really make the most of it since I didn’t believe it was a “natural” talent but rather something I learned how to do. I compared myself to natural artists and thought I can’t compete so why try. I stifled it for many years even though others kept telling me I was really good at it.
Another irrational belief I held was that artist don’t make money and I didn’t want to spend my life poor so I would try and pick other things that could be a “successful career” I ended up majoring in business management in college, graduated with good grades and found the whole thing terribly boring!
I hadn’t done much art since graduatig high school then this year in my grad program at USM decided to incorporate painting as part of my project as a way to be therapeutic and healing. I ended up really enjoying it since I was no longer forcing myself to draw and “get it right” just having fun doing what I wanted to do with the colors. It felt only natural and free. Every painting was an experiment and that’s how I approached it, no right or wrong just an experiment.
This is how I viewed the art show as well. I didn’t feel any nerves or fear, I was just curious to see what others thought about what I already liked and that I had fun doing. I was really curious to see if anyone liked them enough to actually take it home with them.
I got all sorts of rave and compliments from people; they were intrigued and wanted to know how I did it. All I got was love and appreciation and there was no doubt in my mind it was authentic. I felt grateful to hear this, yet in my mind I have done many things up to this point in my life that have been “talented” but haven’t produced much financial compensation in return.
Then at the end of the night someone bought two of my paintings. I ended up making more from those two paintings than any other single day or work in my life. I totally blew open my irrational belief that artists can’t make money, or that my talents are financially useless!
The way everything worked out was so graceful and easy and I can’t deny it felt like it was all meant to be, even the paintings, they also felt like they were meant to exist and have sort of always existed, and I just finally brought it into the physical world to be seen.
I know that money is not everything but I finally in a way feel validated, differently than I ever have before. The lesson I am taking away from this experience is this…when you feel the desire or curiosity to pursue something do it! If it is divine and part of your life path, doors will open and you follow those opportunities! The whole thing seemed effortless once I let my mind get out of the way and I just did what I enjoyed and shared that with other! So what have you been pushing away because you think it is a waste of time or no good? DO IT ANYWAY and then let me know how it goes!
I can’t believe another year has come and gone. This last year felt like the fastest year ever! I am grateful for all the learnings I have obtained over these last twelve months and I will share some of the obvoius ones with you….ready set go!
First and foremost honor yourself. Listen to your intuition and follow it. It will save you.
Pleasure gets boring and relationships get old, you need to choose to be grateful or you won’t remain faithful (Ashton Kutcher is an example).
No one is better than another. I don’t care if you are a celebrity or homeless, we are all the same with the same worth to our existence.
Forgive yourself every day!
When someone tells you who they are believe them the first time.
What you believe affects your reality, if your feeling in a funk change your perception up!
If you want to feel loved, go love somebody.
Control is an illusion.
Not all relationships last, and sometimes you just need to cut someone out of your life.
Surround yourself with good, loving, supportive people who believe in you.
If you want to feel good produce something. Be creative, we are meant to create.
Acceptance is the path to peace.
Forgiveness is the key to freedom. You want to witness a miracle forgive someone who have held a grudge against.
A snake is a snake, don’t be surprised when a snake bites you, that is what snakes do.
Express yourself authentically, and you will see, how magically life can be!
Follow your passion or interest whatever it is, this is the secret to happiness.
Sleep well, a good night’s rest means your day will be blessed.
Don’t bite the hand that feeds you or betray the one that loves you.
Most of all have fun and laugh at yourself. This next year begins tomorrow and you are in for a treat…I have all sorts of goodies in store for you so get ready!
We have all seen some spoiled kid throwing a tantrum. No one likes having to deal with these kids with their disgusting sense of entitlement. That’s exactly why they act like they do…in their mind they believe they need to have, or deserve to have whatever they are wigging out about. They are entitled to it. It is their right; it is theirs so give it to them!
How many of you act this way towards God?
How many of you are spoiled children demanding something you believe should be yours?
How many of you are being destroyed by your belief of entitlement? Letting it spoil you, rot you from the inside.
God owes you nothing. The gift has already been given…it’s called life. Each of us has already received our present when we came here, received our bodies and the experience to live on Earth. Now it is up to you to make the most of your gift. So take a deep breath, realize the gift is yours and begin to use it. Be grateful and live your life.
I bet most of you were taught by your parents the golden rule…to treat others how you want to be treated, or otherwise known as the basic commandment to honor one another. Could you imagine how different our world would be if we actually treated each other this way? How much more love, joy and peace we could experience. I wonder why it is so difficult for us to honor one another?
I believe a huge part of this struggle is due to power, and the attempt to gain it over one another. This drive for power is a motive from fear, the opposite of love and faith. When we operate out of fear we negotiate our spirit and the life force of our spirit. We negotiate away our own power in this tug of war!
We can’t negotiate our spirit regardless of our fear or loneliness. For when we do we begin to lose our vitality, our happiness and motive to live. Eventually we resign and give up. Look around the world and see the herd of walking zombies living a shallow (and unhappy) life in some vain attempt to get money, sex, or power, thinking this is the road to happiness!
In this pursuit of happiness (when motiviated out of our fear) we give our power away. So what do you do when you find yourself in a dead end job for the money? A loveless relationship for the sex or fear of being alone? Or perhaps someone took your power from you and you find yourself the victim of betrayal, abuse, lies, manipulation, or abandonment? You have two choices, you can continue to give up your power or you can “call your power back”. One you are dying and the other you are living.
CALL YOUR POWER BACK!
Now you are probably wondering how does one go about calling their power back? It starts by honoring one another, and even more specific HONORING YOURSELF. We are never truly victims unless we continue to chose to give our power away. By calling your power back and beginning to honor yourself, the outer world will respond to your inner choice.
We call our power back by letting go of resentments, letting go of judgments, letting go of our need to control, and forgiving those that have harmed us. THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU ALLOW THEM TO CONTINUE TO MISTREAT YOU. You may need to cut some people out of your life and let them go if they don’t have enough self honor to honor you in return. If it is a relationship with someone you cannot let go of, such as a parent or sibling you need to learn how to set up healthy boundaries so you are no longer negotiating away your power.
Our relationships are the best opportunities to learn from, they are mirrors for us to see how we ourselves are and how we can improve. If you see you are not being honored or respected, take the first step and honor yourself, then call your power back! You are worth it, and deserve to experience more out of this life!
You notice that wall in front of you? You know the one you keep running into? No? Okay, have you noticed your head keeps hurting and can’t figure out why? It’s because you keep running into that wall! Open your eyes…ahhh, yes there you go. Now you see it. Wait…what are you doing? You are headed straight for it…again. Ouch! Don’t look at me like that, this time you knew. You saw the wall and still walked into it! Hey at least you know what the headache is from! You will probably keep running into it a few more times until you get so tired of the pain, you can’t take it anymore! Then at the depths of your frustration you will decide to stop walking into the wall and make a right hand turn.
I have been doing this. I have been running into the wall over and over again. I even got so conscious to realize I was doing it but I wasn’t tired of the pain just yet. You can’t judge me either. We all do this and we all continue to do it until we can’t take it any longer and this is when we decide to change.
We realize we can’t live one day longer doing the same thing and getting the same results and the only way to get a different result it to take a different action!
Sometimes life has a funny way of teaching us if we don’t ever change on our own. We see we are running into the wall, we feel the pain, but we get almost used to it. We expect this is just how life is…painful and there are no other choices to experience anything else. Stuck in the repetitive habit we run into that wall one more time, but this time the whole wall comes crashing down on top of you! Underneath all that rubble you wonder how you could experience so much pain and survive. Why did this have to happen to you? You are a good person and don’t deserve all this pain!
This is when God steps in and says it is finally time to stop running into the wall. I was hoping you would learn the easy way but you refused, so I had to show you it is really time to stop! You somehow struggle to pull yourself out from underneath and begin to brush yourself off and heal up.
This time you won’t run into the wall anymore. You know what it feels like when it all comes crashing down and if by chance you bump into it again you will quickly remember what it felt like and make a fast right hand turn!
This is how we learn. Our intuition (or the spirit) guides us and we fill subtle promptings to stop doing something, some nagging feeling, some impression. But we ignore it thinking it is not so bad. We continue to see the results of our actions and realize it is not what we want but still continue in the behavior until we either can’t take it anymore and decide to change on our own. Or God intervenes and shows us by letting the hard lesson take its place and our whole world comes crashing down so we can no longer ignore what he was trying to teach us all along.
My friends, learn the easy way. Don’t do what I did and wait and wait and see the wall eventually come crashing down on top of you. We are being guided and you can feel it when you run into the wall. Trust your heart, trust your intuition and trust God. Act upon what you sense and you will be grateful you did!