Recently I heard a story in the news (which is why I don’t watch the news) about two young men who shot and killed some random man. When asked why they did it, they simply said they were bored. Makes perfects sense right? This story blew my mind. How sad it can be that because we get bored this is what boredom can lead to…death.
Now many of you are thinking but obviously these kids had issues to actually kill because of boredom. While that may be true, I do think that boredom , if not treated does lead to death. Your own!
Everybody is slowly dying, this is a fact. We all know death awaits us. So how are you spending your time while still alive?
Are you bored? Are you excited? Are you living a life that thrills you and inspires others around you? If not then you are well…just slowly dying!
So here is how to snap out of it…
GO DO SOMETHING NOVEL!!! Go try something you have never done before, and for the sake of the rest of the world, don’t try murder! Try out some random hobby you have always wanted to learn. Go take a class, go create something, write a poem and share it, make a painting, make a youtube video, go talk to a stranger, learn a language, make a new friend, cook something you have never cooked before. Do something that challenges you or makes you stretch.
Here is the interesting part…or a big clue. Think of something that makes you feel nervous or scared and do that! Every time we feel nervous about trying something new that is usually a good indicator it is in fact something we should do! Sounds scary right? Well if you want to feel alive, I suggest you try it. If you accept my challenge, please let me know what you did and what you got out of it…I double dog dare ya!
There are millions of people who walk this planet. Most of us live an average life, we find some people to love, we find some way to make some money. Then we either create drama to fill in all the rest or we find some distraction to help alleviate the lack of excitement we are experiencing. Common distractions these days are television, smartphones, alcohol, drugs…just to name a few.
What is sad about all us average people is we actually could have done something great to contribute to the rest of humanity…rather than just be average.
So what is it that separates the averages throughout time and those whose names go down in history? What’s the difference between Joe Shmoe and Justin Bieber? Is it just luck? Is it destiny? Or is it much more simpler than that?
As far as Justin Bieber goes, I have met other people in my life who could sing just as good or better than him, maybe even just as cute as he is. But the ones I know are not famous like Justin Bieber. They are a nobody as far as the rest of the world is concerned. So if there are other just as talented people out there why did he get chosen out of the averages and made into a star?
It comes down to two factors. If you do have the talent, (and not always is it obvious, most times it needs to be developed and perfected) then you need one other major factor…Belief you are worthy of the dream. Belief in yourself you can do what is in your heart. Belief it is possible for you. If you have the talent and you have the belief then there is only one other component….time.
It is only a matter of time before you are seen. The trick is you can never give up. This is where most people fall short. We have to keep on being consistent, keep on doing that thing you do to put yourself out into the public. This is not easy; it could be years of stepping out on that stage before the right person sees you to raise you to the next level. During this time it is easy to fall back into fear that you are not good enough…don’t let this be you! Don’t give up right before you have a breakthrough!
Where are you in your path to success? Are you talented enough? If not then work on your craft. Are you out in the world sharing this thing with others? If not how do you expect to ever be found? And are you still actively pursuing your goal? Or have you given up? Only you can honestly answer these three questions, and no matter where you are at, it is not too late. Life is not about being famous or getting rich…those are just the byproduct of doing what you love and doing them very well. The real payoff however is having a full heart because you are following what brings you joy. If you are not excited about life, then this is your wake up call!
I had a friend call me up with a question the other day. She wanted to know what she should do because she felt trapped. She is married and has a child. She has had a lot of fun being a mom and a wife but she said she also feels like there is something inside of her that she needs to let out. A career she has always wanted to pursue but felt like if she followed her passion this would make her a bad mom.
I find her situation interesting and thus why I wanted to share it with you all because on some level I think we all go through this.
Everyone of us has a dream or passion inside wanting to come out and be expressed. Some awesome desire we hold in our heart that wants to come out and be shared with the world. As long as we deny or hide this dream we will live in a state of frustration, anger and a yearning for something more. We can try to push it aside but if it’s a true dream, it will never leave, it will never die.
We serve no one by trying to do “the right thing” and not follow this dream, because it will always bubble up in some sort of way or manner. We may snap at our loved ones and resent or blame them. We may get into addictions to mask our sadness. Or we may even leave those we love because we didn’t find a healthy way to balance the dream inside.
Don’t misunderstand what I am saying here, I am not telling you to be irresponsible and abandon the life you have already created. I am however telling you to stop living in denial of what you came here to do and find a way to fit it into your life. If the dream is there it is there for a reason!
Part of why we don’t go for what we want are the irrational beliefs that what we want is foolish, or stupid, or we have already missed the boat because we are too old, or too fat or too whatever you believe to make you stop trying to fulfill that thing! This is where some good ol’ fashioned self control comes handy!
When you stop denying what you want the next thing to do is not give power to the thoughts that control you to stay small and not try. You have to recognize these thoughts as fear based thoughts and then choose, “do I believe the fear thought or do I decide not to believe in that?”
At this point you may question my practice wondering, “But Davia, I’m just being realistic!” Well guess what? No single person who ever achieved anything great was realistic! They all had naysayers in their life telling them what the limits were and they decided to not listen and push those limits away. These are the people we hear about making amazing things happen in the world. These are the people who didn’t let their irrational beliefs paralyze them in fear. These are the people who are actually living their dreams! And it is possible for all of us, as long as we don’t live in fear.
So you want to have a safe life? Fine go ahead and do what you are doing, try and live with that fire in your heart that you keep denying is there. But if you feel it and you know what I am talking about there is no other way to get rid of the desire then to go for it. Life is about the pursuit and journey, as soon as you start moving towards that dream and you keep working at it you will feel joy. I promise you this, and if not, call me up and Ill give you your money back haha! Good luck and if you have any questions about your specific situation please feel free to email me Daviakingcoaching@gmail.com. I would love to talk to you about your heart’s desire!
One of my best friends passed away exactly two weeks ago today. I don’t know why I can’t write about it right after it happens, it seems I need a few weeks to process through it all and let it come to grips as my new reality…Accept that my friend is no longer in this realm that I exist in.
Up until three months ago I had not experienced the pain of death. Nobody I knew had passed away. In the last three months I have lost two grandmothers and now my best friend from college. It has been quite the eye opener.
I can’t take my life for granted nor can I take yours for granted either. There is no guarantee and I guess that’s part of what makes life so exciting. What gets me isn’t that they are gone (because I believe we are only separated for a time), it is more that I wonder if we were complete or if there was anything else I could have shared or been for that person or if they had something more to teach me.
The last couple weeks I think the thing that has impacted me the most was how much we are all intertwined in life. I am not an island, I am not alone. As much as I would like to solely blame myself or solely take credit myself for my life… I cannot. I have been influenced by so many people for the good and the bad. I go around doing the same thing for all those who come in contact with me. My friend Jenavieve was a very special friend to me, we shared a connection that was unique, I taught her and she taught me and we grew from one another. I know this is the case for all of us in all our relationships, or at least this opportunity is there to learn. But more so than any other individual has her life impacted mine.
The reason she is so unique is because I saw her life transform. When I first met her and who she was when she passed away were two different people, if that is possible. I think throughout our lives we go through stages and hopefully evolve and grow out of those stages that are not so positive or healthy. Most people take a lifetime well up into their 60’s, 70’s 80’s to achieve this (if they ever do at all). But my friend Vieve did it in her twenties…thus why her life was complete and she was ready to transition on to the next phase.
I learned so much from her because I got to witness a miracle of someone able to change their life and soften their heart, become humble and learn. Then take the love in her heart and go out and teach, touching the lives of others and bringing her light to many more to be touched so that they too could turn around and do the same. I will never forget my dear friend Jenavieve and her unconditional love, her un-judgmental attitude, her quest for knowledge and wisdom, the dedication she had for self improvement and her strength of heart and perseverance.
She has changed my life for the better and I have no excuse to stay stuck or small or anything other than the best! Because I saw her transform, so I know I can do, we all can, if that is what we desire! Please take this moment in your lives to consider what you truly want, knowing you have no guarantee for tomorrow, go out and get it, be it, make your life complete, clean up the things that need cleaning in your soul and be your best version. Not only will you no longer fear death but your example will radiate and you will touch the lives of many. This is why we are here, to teach and learn and grow with each other.
Exactly three weeks ago today my sweet Grandma LouDean passed away. I have wanted to write about this sooner but haven’t been able to get myself to do it. How do you capture all that you feel when you lose someone you love? So much emotion runs through me, and hits me like waves. Big pounding waves of grief, and you wonder just like real waves, maybe they will never stop, there will always be one more.
I have yet to experience someone close to me dying. I didn’t think it would feel quite like this…but how do you expect such emotions until you actually go through it? I have three other living grandparents…all of whom are in their nineties, which makes me dread this is just the first of many. There are many deaths to come. This may be the truest sentence I have ever written. Soon my other grandparents will make their passing…and I see my parents are not far behind with all their gray hairs and wrinkles. I do not want to sound depressed or morbid, I am being very honest. The part I still am learning to accept is that yes, I too will die. Everyone I know and everyone you know will die. If you think about it life really is all about death. It is the most natural and common occurrence of life and ONLY guarantee. Yet we all dread and fear it like it is the worst thing ever! Why?
Partly because it is unknown and we fear what we do not know and also because it hurts so bad, I miss my grandma, and I get sad thinking about how I will have to go through that experience over and over and over again with each person I love and then those that love me will have to feel the pain of my death.
There is only one choice and the sooner we make it the sooner we really began to live and make the most of every breath we still have. By choosing death, choosing to accept that I will die and accepting that everyone I know will die, and no longer living in denial of it opens up a whole new way of living. A way that accepts everyone as they are, appreciating every little facet of who they are, of enjoying every moment we actually share, of being present with every hug given and received, of making the most of every opportunity because this is it! THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND EACH DAY COULD BE YOUR LAST DO NOT LET IT GO BY! Have the intention to clear up your lose ends, to make complete your incompletions, to ask forgivness to those whom you have hurt and to forgive those whom have hurt you. Most importantly to love as deep as you ever have, knowing nothing is guaranteed except an unknown expiration date to your life. No more living with regrets, no more living for tomorrow… there simply is no time for that. Today is all we have. Today we live.
I bet most of you who know me didn’t know I am an artist.Well I am and last night I had my first show! Most of the paintings I had, I did in the last couple months just for fun without any real purpose at all, just felt the desire to paint and so well… I painted. Then I found outabout a group show being held by some fellow students from USM. I asked if I could also participate and it was on baby!
A little background story…Growing up I was artistic, or rather creative, but drawing wasn’t an obvious gift…yet. My teachers in elementary school told my parents to put me in art classes since they saw my creativity. I began numerous drawing classes so I could learn how to draw, but it wasn’t natural for me like some people who are just talented at recapturing exactly what they see. I found the whole process taxing and not fun at all, but I did enjoy putting the colors down after the drawings were finished.
As I got older and saw this was now a talent of mine I was unsure how to really make the most of it since I didn’t believe it was a “natural” talent but rather something I learned how to do. I compared myself to natural artists and thought I can’t compete so why try. I stifled it for many years even though others kept telling me I was really good at it.
Another irrational belief I held was that artist don’t make money and I didn’t want to spend my life poor so I would try and pick other things that could be a “successful career” I ended up majoring in business management in college, graduated with good grades and found the whole thing terribly boring!
I hadn’t done much art since graduatig high school then this year in my grad program at USM decided to incorporate painting as part of my project as a way to be therapeutic and healing. I ended up really enjoying it since I was no longer forcing myself to draw and “get it right” just having fun doing what I wanted to do with the colors. It felt only natural and free. Every painting was an experiment and that’s how I approached it, no right or wrong just an experiment.
This is how I viewed the art show as well. I didn’t feel any nerves or fear, I was just curious to see what others thought about what I already liked and that I had fun doing. I was really curious to see if anyone liked them enough to actually take it home with them.
I got all sorts of rave and compliments from people; they were intrigued and wanted to know how I did it. All I got was love and appreciation and there was no doubt in my mind it was authentic. I felt grateful to hear this, yet in my mind I have done many things up to this point in my life that have been “talented” but haven’t produced much financial compensation in return.
Then at the end of the night someone bought two of my paintings. I ended up making more from those two paintings than any other single day or work in my life. I totally blew open my irrational belief that artists can’t make money, or that my talents are financially useless!
The way everything worked out was so graceful and easy and I can’t deny it felt like it was all meant to be, even the paintings, they also felt like they were meant to exist and have sort of always existed, and I just finally brought it into the physical world to be seen.
I know that money is not everything but I finally in a way feel validated, differently than I ever have before. The lesson I am taking away from this experience is this…when you feel the desire or curiosity to pursue something do it! If it is divine and part of your life path, doors will open and you follow those opportunities! The whole thing seemed effortless once I let my mind get out of the way and I just did what I enjoyed and shared that with other! So what have you been pushing away because you think it is a waste of time or no good? DO IT ANYWAY and then let me know how it goes!
All I can say is don’t take anything for granted. Too many things have happened to people I love in the last month and as I have held a space for them to mourn and sent them love, the big lesson I see is to live life to the fullest. To make the most of every moment that we share, to push fear aside and take a chance on your dream, to let go of the petty stupid little things that don’t matter, and to take hold of the one you love and simply share the way you feel. There is no guarantee of tomorrow, not for you or me or the person you hold in your heart. Make the most of it now so you never look back with regrets.
The truth of the matter is we are all going to die. The more we prolong the denial that it will happen the more we deny living! The sooner we accept death and its surety, the sooner we began to live this life to the fullest. Wake up and live, live a full life knowing each day is a gift. I love this life, and I love helping others live to the fullest! Please know I am sending you love on this journey we share together. What we share is special… if you think about it, we here (Earth) at this moment are the few who are actually alive and soon we will join the billions of others that have come and gone before us. Our time is short but it can be so sweet, it is up to you and what you make of this time we have together!
The relationships that come in and out of our lives have purpose. No matter how awesome or annoying that certain someone is in your life, whether it be your mother or your next door neighbor we are all here as teachers for each other. Through our relationships is how we learn best; we each act as a mirror for one another to see both the positive and negative projections. Through relationships we learn to set up healthy boundaries, to work out agreements, to share, listen and love and when the time comes, how to let go and move on without them anymore.
Take a look at your life and see the people you have chosen to associate with, even down to your family…you chose them for a reason, now take what you can and see the lesson involved. No relationship is just chance or coincidence; everyone can be an opportunity for growth, if you so chose.
When I was home visiting for Thanksgiving I drove past this field and the feel of it was too interesting not to do anything about. So I jumped the fence and attempted to capture the feel of it. I went home looked at some of my footage and was pleased to see how cool my little iPod (using the 8mm app) could capture the ambiance.
I was talking to Tejah (my roommate) and told her what I was doing and how easy it was to film using the app. She got excited and wanted to try it out and made her own little video.
When I got back to LA we begin editing our footage and our other roommate Wendy saw what we were doing and got inspired to make her own video too using the same app on her iPhone.
After we all saw how fun and easy it was to be creative we decided to send the invite out to everyone to do the same and express yourselves creatively! People ask me if I am trying to be an actress or something, they don’t understand why I would make a video just to make it. In life there are too many times we shut our ideas down because we think “but that’s not me”. I’m tired of living that way and one of my goals this year is to live creatively expressing myself authentically without any other motive than that. So I may act, I may write, I may paint, I may sing, I may direct or even rap… who knows what! Whatever my heart feels like doing is what I will do! For the last month since we have been making these little videos I have had some of the most fun of my life, simply because I am creating! I invite you to do the same, life is too short to keep squashing out your ideas! Have some fun and be creative! For more information on how you can participate in 8mm project we are doing please watch this video (warning: I am rapping in it haha) and check out our facebook page FilmsFilms Productions. Make your own video before Jan. 15th and after you upload it to Youtube, email the link to firstname.lastname@example.org…we can’t wait to see what you come up with! Happy New Year and lets make 2012 the best year yet!