Want it? Get it done!

Folks, here it is…my first video. I didn’t know what I was doing since I have never directed or filmed before, but that doesn’t matter. I say if you have a desire and interest to try something new then do it already! What you are about to watch is a fun artsy indie piece starring Tejah Signori, the up and coming actress. YEAH FOR DOING THINGS YOU LOVE!

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Do what you want: two classic examples…

I just walked out of the whole foods in Santa Monica, and noticed the same four sandy blond-haired young men that were in the checkout line in front of me were now behind an old blue van sorting out their groceries into coolers. As I walked by holding my zucchini muffin and kombucha I saw into the back of their van.  It looked as if the last two or three back rows had been taken out and there were sleeping pads and blankets in their place. I stopped and asked them if they were living in their van. They stopped talking and looked at me hesitant for a second, but then sensed I was friendly and so responded in a foreign accent, well yes we are.  I sort of chuckled and took a couple steps closer to get a better look. Their ring leader then warned me, not to get too close because, “We really have been living in there and it might not smell too fresh.”

I began to conversate with my new foreign friends from Norway and found out they had recently just arrived to California three days ago, driving down from Canada where they had been working on a farm for the last two months. Earning money just for this…to live in this van they bought for as long as they could stand it or until their money ran out! They asked me places to go in LA and if they should dare go into Mexico. I gave them my two bits and they invited me to explore Hollywood with them tomorrow. I do have the day off so I may just play tour guide for these sun kissed young lads. I walked away laughing to myself at how fun of an idea that would be to go to a completely different continent and survive with my three best friends.

I then drove up the street to the vegan café to do some work and ran into Carolyn Collins, a former patron when I worked here, and we exchanged how we were both doing.  She told me she was moving to Costa Rica. I stood there for a second as if I didn’t really hear here and then repeated back in surprise, “Costa Rica?” She laughed and said, yes. She is quitting her job, moving to Costa Rica to rent a house on the beach for $500 bucks a month. I said what are you going to do over there? She said with a big smile on her face, “Make music!” Carolyn had told me when I used to wait on her that she was taking lessons to be a DJ, and now she was moving to Costa Rica to be alone so she can focus on what she loves…making music! Now this to me is a bit hilarious because Carolyn is a nice conservative white girl who is also a raw veganista! Probably the last person you would look at and think, “Oh this girl makes music on turn tables!” But she does and she is following her dreams and doing what she loves.

Need I say more? I just gave two perfect examples of people doing what they love, disregarding all the “fears”, and “shoulds” and “I’ll do it one day thinking” and they are doing it now! Following their hearts and not putting off their desires for another day, they are making it happen right now. I thank them for doing it because it was an inspiration to me and hopefully after I took the time to write this little diddy up and you read it, you feel inspired too! So what do you really want to do?

Are you too afraid to ask?

The other night I went out to sushi with a friend…a male friend. He is a good looking guy, with a good job, funny, smart, educated. But he is still single, which isn’t a problem unless you don’t want to be. He asked how he should go about asking a girl out that he was interested in. I told him just to do it, just go ask her out! And he looked at me like that was the last thing he could just go do! He said it’s not that simple. He was scared.  He couldn’t just approach a girl and ask her out or tell her he was interested. He said he needed to go about it in a non threatening way so she doesn’t get freaked out by him. Which I think is a little funny. Because really what he is scared of isn’t freaking her out, he is scared she will say “no”.

Why is it so scary to hear “no”?

Most of us are afraid of this simple word. We make it have so much meaning. In fact we are so scared of it that we won’t even ask for what we want, we will stay in the wanting never knowing if we can have it. We will stay not satisfied with what we have stuck in our fear to do anything different! What a poop way to live life!

I will tell you why we are so afraid. We make the answer “no” mean something personal. When we make requests we often put our self-image, and self worth on the line along with whatever it is we are asking for.  Whether it be a date, or a sale, a job, marriage ect. what we are really asking for is much more. What we are really asking is something like this, “Would you please do as I am requesting and APPROVE of me. Will you affirm my worth as a human being, and that I am worthy of your acceptance and love?!”

When we take the answer “no” so personal it is because we are seeking for approval outside of ourselves which is always the wrong place to find it! Acceptance, self worth, approval affirmation of you as a being, all comes from within, from inside yourself!

Happiness, wellbeing, wisdom all come from the innermost part of who you are they are not the fruit of something you do or achieve in your life, it just comes from within yourself. It is the essence of who you naturally are.

The truth is you can ask anyone for anything when you make it okay for them to say “no”. It is not longer scary when we don’t make it mean so much. If you think about it the answer “no” is a huge help. It helps me see that is not what is meant to be with me in my life and I look towards a new direction. It helps us narrow in on what really is meant to be for us.

So fellas go out there and find Hot Heather, Smart Sassy Sarah, or Delectable Davia! Whoever she is that floats your boat go ask her out! If she say “yes” then great you got yourself a date, and if she says “no” then you know she is not the girl for you and you can move on with your head held high that Mrs. Awesome Perfect Girl for you is right around the corner!

“No” is just a little two letter word, stop giving it so much more false meaning! It is never about you, even if the other person thinks it is. When we meet our own need of approval we will never have to fear rejection again! So get your booty out there and ask for what you want!!!

Be who you say you are: There is no truth except in action!

I remember when my little brother Abe, and I were children, and some sort of mischief went down amongst the kids and no one knew who was to blame in the scenario. I always knew how to find out the truth. I would pull my little brother aside and ask him what happened. Every time I found out the truth of the matter because I knew my little brother didn’t understand the concept of lying. Even if it meant he got himself in trouble, he still told what was true. This was such a great quality of his basic nature.

Now I am not going to go tooting my own horn here and say I have never told a lie or cheated in some way in my life. I am sure I have been guilty of it a time or two but I am proud to say I value the quality of integrity and it is my intention to live my life with nothing to hide or be ashamed of. In fact I am pretty confident I can say we lie everyday! How many times do you tell yourself you are not going to eat that cookie then give in and eat the cookie!

There is a branch of philosophy called existentialism, and one of their points of theory is that “there is not truth except in action”. I really like this viewpoint. I feel it holds a lot of truth especially in the context of integrity. THERE IS NO TRUTH EXCEPT IN ACTION! Lets think about that for a moment.

What does integrity mean to you?

I feel like integrity is doing the right thing or what is good regardless of the immediate consequences or regardless of who you think may be watching. Integrity is more than honesty, it is not just saying the truth but it is a CONSISTENCY with yourself. It is consistency with your words, actions, thoughts and desires. Integrity is having a good heart! Doing good unto others and serving your fellow men. To have integrity one must let go of the self and consider others. So the idea of, “there is no truth except in action” means that it doesn’t matter what comes out of your mouth, it matters how you actually live your life! What are the choices you make and are they in alignment with what you say?!?

Integrity is a value I strive after in myself and one I look for in those I choose to associate with. It is a core value I feel necessary to make lasting relationships and to succeed at life. Sure we know all sorts of people who could be considered “successful” because they are rich or famous and the way they got there was through lies, cheating and manipulation. But I am talking about the success that equates true happiness. One can only arrive at happiness when one knows they are good. They live a life free of guilt, free of shame, able to go forth without any fear of what may be uncovered. It allows one to live life fully! Fully feeling all the love and joy life has to bring by trusting and loving others! If you know me personally and you don’t live your life with integrity, do me a little favor and stop knowing me personally! Hahah I am turning a new leaf in my life and choosing to spend time with people of a like mind! I have wasted too much time with people not willing to walk their talk or be who they say they are! Enough is enough, time to raise the game to a new level…are you courageous enough to join me?

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” —Lao-Tze

Meet Jen

Posted by on May 28, 2010 in Success Stories-Living the Dream | One Comment

As I mentioned before I had the awesome opportunity to go to Joshua Tree last weekend and participate in a rock climbing and yoga retreat. My friend Jen Whalen dreamed the dream of starting an awesome company that takes women out into the outdoors and lets them get in touch with their strength of heart and return home with a new courage to tackle life. Well that’s at least what I experienced anyway! I admire Jen for having the courage to step aside from traditional work for the last year to make her dream come true. I sat down with her during the retreat to ask her a few questions about how this all came about. Check out the video and if you would like more information about Jen and her retreats please refer to her website http://www.seektruenorth.com/

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