There are millions of people who walk this planet. Most of us live an average life, we find some people to love, we find some way to make some money. Then we either create drama to fill in all the rest or we find some distraction to help alleviate the lack of excitement we are experiencing. Common distractions these days are television, smartphones, alcohol, drugs…just to name a few.
What is sad about all us average people is we actually could have done something great to contribute to the rest of humanity…rather than just be average.
So what is it that separates the averages throughout time and those whose names go down in history? What’s the difference between Joe Shmoe and Justin Bieber? Is it just luck? Is it destiny? Or is it much more simpler than that?
As far as Justin Bieber goes, I have met other people in my life who could sing just as good or better than him, maybe even just as cute as he is. But the ones I know are not famous like Justin Bieber. They are a nobody as far as the rest of the world is concerned. So if there are other just as talented people out there why did he get chosen out of the averages and made into a star?
It comes down to two factors. If you do have the talent, (and not always is it obvious, most times it needs to be developed and perfected) then you need one other major factor…Belief you are worthy of the dream. Belief in yourself you can do what is in your heart. Belief it is possible for you. If you have the talent and you have the belief then there is only one other component….time.
It is only a matter of time before you are seen. The trick is you can never give up. This is where most people fall short. We have to keep on being consistent, keep on doing that thing you do to put yourself out into the public. This is not easy; it could be years of stepping out on that stage before the right person sees you to raise you to the next level. During this time it is easy to fall back into fear that you are not good enough…don’t let this be you! Don’t give up right before you have a breakthrough!
Where are you in your path to success? Are you talented enough? If not then work on your craft. Are you out in the world sharing this thing with others? If not how do you expect to ever be found? And are you still actively pursuing your goal? Or have you given up? Only you can honestly answer these three questions, and no matter where you are at, it is not too late. Life is not about being famous or getting rich…those are just the byproduct of doing what you love and doing them very well. The real payoff however is having a full heart because you are following what brings you joy. If you are not excited about life, then this is your wake up call!
I had a friend call me up with a question the other day. She wanted to know what she should do because she felt trapped. She is married and has a child. She has had a lot of fun being a mom and a wife but she said she also feels like there is something inside of her that she needs to let out. A career she has always wanted to pursue but felt like if she followed her passion this would make her a bad mom.
I find her situation interesting and thus why I wanted to share it with you all because on some level I think we all go through this.
Everyone of us has a dream or passion inside wanting to come out and be expressed. Some awesome desire we hold in our heart that wants to come out and be shared with the world. As long as we deny or hide this dream we will live in a state of frustration, anger and a yearning for something more. We can try to push it aside but if it’s a true dream, it will never leave, it will never die.
We serve no one by trying to do “the right thing” and not follow this dream, because it will always bubble up in some sort of way or manner. We may snap at our loved ones and resent or blame them. We may get into addictions to mask our sadness. Or we may even leave those we love because we didn’t find a healthy way to balance the dream inside.
Don’t misunderstand what I am saying here, I am not telling you to be irresponsible and abandon the life you have already created. I am however telling you to stop living in denial of what you came here to do and find a way to fit it into your life. If the dream is there it is there for a reason!
Part of why we don’t go for what we want are the irrational beliefs that what we want is foolish, or stupid, or we have already missed the boat because we are too old, or too fat or too whatever you believe to make you stop trying to fulfill that thing! This is where some good ol’ fashioned self control comes handy!
When you stop denying what you want the next thing to do is not give power to the thoughts that control you to stay small and not try. You have to recognize these thoughts as fear based thoughts and then choose, “do I believe the fear thought or do I decide not to believe in that?”
At this point you may question my practice wondering, “But Davia, I’m just being realistic!” Well guess what? No single person who ever achieved anything great was realistic! They all had naysayers in their life telling them what the limits were and they decided to not listen and push those limits away. These are the people we hear about making amazing things happen in the world. These are the people who didn’t let their irrational beliefs paralyze them in fear. These are the people who are actually living their dreams! And it is possible for all of us, as long as we don’t live in fear.
So you want to have a safe life? Fine go ahead and do what you are doing, try and live with that fire in your heart that you keep denying is there. But if you feel it and you know what I am talking about there is no other way to get rid of the desire then to go for it. Life is about the pursuit and journey, as soon as you start moving towards that dream and you keep working at it you will feel joy. I promise you this, and if not, call me up and Ill give you your money back haha! Good luck and if you have any questions about your specific situation please feel free to email me Daviakingcoaching@gmail.com. I would love to talk to you about your heart’s desire!
Help us preserve and rejuvenate traditional artisan life in Peru:
This May I will be traveling to Peru with Jesse Gros and Insight Adventures. There we will be living and working with local artisan people in the remote village of Parobamba, nestled in the cloud forest, high above the Sacred Valley. There we will be supporting the amazing work of local artists Daniel Sonqo, his wife Leonarda and their two sons who have single handedly started the revival of local native dye use among traditional weaving communities.
This allows families to support themselves by making and selling their artwork, while preserving ancient knowledge and their beautiful culture. Once a dying art, (no pun intended) these traditional weaving techniques are now making a come back in Peru, thanks to the work of this courageous family and the support of people like you!
Your donation will go towards education and supplies needed to expand this work around the country. Thank you for your support!
Today is January 21, 2013, I had my birthday four days ago…and turned 29. What does that mean to me? I have exactly one year left in my twenties. And what does that mean? I have one year to live the best life of my life! Twenties are the years of self discovery, love, travel, learning, and laying the foundation of some so called “career”!
I guess I have done a few of those things so far, but when I realized I only have one year left in my twenties a tinge of sadness came over me, that I felt like there are so many more things I wished I had done. So many more experiences I wished I had lived.
Up to this point in my life I have told myself “someday”. Someday I will travel, someday I will own my own house, someday I will be successful and have lots of money! Well guess what? Someday means never! And I’m not waiting for someday anymore!
So what did I do? I just bought myself a ticket to Peru! Yes sir. I saw on Facebook from a friend that tickets were half priced, and pulled out my credit card and charged that sucker! Now I will be going to a place I have always wanted to see!
Reckless? Maybe. But living conservatively has got me nothing but living for tomorrow, always hoping for that someday. So I took an action, and bought myself a ticket. Now I am going to Peru.
So how am I going to pay for it? Well stay tuned! I’m sure you will hear of the details shortly…just know this. Once a desire is clear, and an action taken, a plan is set in motion and the universe rewards those who are courageous enough to take an action to make their dreams come true! So what is inside your heart that you have been waiting for to happen someday? And what are you willing to do TODAY to make it a reality?
I feel so grateful in this moment. I participated in my second art show last night and am still trying to process all that went on in those few hours. I sold some more paintings and am very excited about that, however this time, that was not necessarily the highlight for me. As the night came to an end and I had finished packing up my car, I sat down for a second and just took in everything that happened…all I felt was a huge heart full of love. I was overcome by how many of my friends and family came out to support and share in the fun creative evening. That was the highlight of the night…seeing different groups of friends come together and my different worlds collide to make one beautifully painted evening! I was so happy to share that with all of you who came and those who participated. I felt inspired by the other artists who shared their creative talents and I look forward to having more shows in the future to spread the love and creative energy out into the cosmos for all to enjoy! Thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing me so much joy!
I bet most of you who know me didn’t know I am an artist.Well I am and last night I had my first show! Most of the paintings I had, I did in the last couple months just for fun without any real purpose at all, just felt the desire to paint and so well… I painted. Then I found outabout a group show being held by some fellow students from USM. I asked if I could also participate and it was on baby!
A little background story…Growing up I was artistic, or rather creative, but drawing wasn’t an obvious gift…yet. My teachers in elementary school told my parents to put me in art classes since they saw my creativity. I began numerous drawing classes so I could learn how to draw, but it wasn’t natural for me like some people who are just talented at recapturing exactly what they see. I found the whole process taxing and not fun at all, but I did enjoy putting the colors down after the drawings were finished.
As I got older and saw this was now a talent of mine I was unsure how to really make the most of it since I didn’t believe it was a “natural” talent but rather something I learned how to do. I compared myself to natural artists and thought I can’t compete so why try. I stifled it for many years even though others kept telling me I was really good at it.
Another irrational belief I held was that artist don’t make money and I didn’t want to spend my life poor so I would try and pick other things that could be a “successful career” I ended up majoring in business management in college, graduated with good grades and found the whole thing terribly boring!
I hadn’t done much art since graduatig high school then this year in my grad program at USM decided to incorporate painting as part of my project as a way to be therapeutic and healing. I ended up really enjoying it since I was no longer forcing myself to draw and “get it right” just having fun doing what I wanted to do with the colors. It felt only natural and free. Every painting was an experiment and that’s how I approached it, no right or wrong just an experiment.
This is how I viewed the art show as well. I didn’t feel any nerves or fear, I was just curious to see what others thought about what I already liked and that I had fun doing. I was really curious to see if anyone liked them enough to actually take it home with them.
I got all sorts of rave and compliments from people; they were intrigued and wanted to know how I did it. All I got was love and appreciation and there was no doubt in my mind it was authentic. I felt grateful to hear this, yet in my mind I have done many things up to this point in my life that have been “talented” but haven’t produced much financial compensation in return.
Then at the end of the night someone bought two of my paintings. I ended up making more from those two paintings than any other single day or work in my life. I totally blew open my irrational belief that artists can’t make money, or that my talents are financially useless!
The way everything worked out was so graceful and easy and I can’t deny it felt like it was all meant to be, even the paintings, they also felt like they were meant to exist and have sort of always existed, and I just finally brought it into the physical world to be seen.
I know that money is not everything but I finally in a way feel validated, differently than I ever have before. The lesson I am taking away from this experience is this…when you feel the desire or curiosity to pursue something do it! If it is divine and part of your life path, doors will open and you follow those opportunities! The whole thing seemed effortless once I let my mind get out of the way and I just did what I enjoyed and shared that with other! So what have you been pushing away because you think it is a waste of time or no good? DO IT ANYWAY and then let me know how it goes!
When I was home visiting for Thanksgiving I drove past this field and the feel of it was too interesting not to do anything about. So I jumped the fence and attempted to capture the feel of it. I went home looked at some of my footage and was pleased to see how cool my little iPod (using the 8mm app) could capture the ambiance.
I was talking to Tejah (my roommate) and told her what I was doing and how easy it was to film using the app. She got excited and wanted to try it out and made her own little video.
When I got back to LA we begin editing our footage and our other roommate Wendy saw what we were doing and got inspired to make her own video too using the same app on her iPhone.
After we all saw how fun and easy it was to be creative we decided to send the invite out to everyone to do the same and express yourselves creatively! People ask me if I am trying to be an actress or something, they don’t understand why I would make a video just to make it. In life there are too many times we shut our ideas down because we think “but that’s not me”. I’m tired of living that way and one of my goals this year is to live creatively expressing myself authentically without any other motive than that. So I may act, I may write, I may paint, I may sing, I may direct or even rap… who knows what! Whatever my heart feels like doing is what I will do! For the last month since we have been making these little videos I have had some of the most fun of my life, simply because I am creating! I invite you to do the same, life is too short to keep squashing out your ideas! Have some fun and be creative! For more information on how you can participate in 8mm project we are doing please watch this video (warning: I am rapping in it haha) and check out our facebook page FilmsFilms Productions. Make your own video before Jan. 15th and after you upload it to Youtube, email the link to firstname.lastname@example.org…we can’t wait to see what you come up with! Happy New Year and lets make 2012 the best year yet!
At 8:30 a.m. I woke up and did some writing then meditated as I said some affirmations. Fell asleep for another couple hours and re-got up at noon. I painted for a bit, and put up another painting up on my wall near my bed….it is a painting of outer space and looks awesome!
Then I drove out to Santa Monica dropped off an application for an additional year of grad school at USM. Ate a quick vegan snack at the Golden Mean Café then headed towards Pacific Palisades to this hike that overlooks the beach. While hiking I took off my shirt and let my white skin get some vitamin D. I didn’t care if my stomach was the skinniest stomach in LA, I was free and enjoying the smell of the ocean breeze. While hiking I attempted to flow/rap and laughed at myself at how un-smooth I sounded!
After getting to the top of the hike at the lookout point I sat down and enjoyed the view, I began thanking God for the opportunity to live here and then declared to the universe some plans for next year! I ran back down the hill scaring away the lizards as I ran, got to my car and drove to the beach to stretch out.
I then hit up 3rd street promenade and went shopping, buying myself a skirt and a few shirts…something to feel pretty in! Now I am back at the Golden Mean telling you about my day while enjoying a gluten free pizza (I haven’t had pizza in over four months since I decided not to eat gluten).
“Why is any of this information pertinent?” you may be wondering.
I am curious when was the last time you had a fun day? Nothing I had to do today was “important”, none of it had to be done today, but I chose to make a day for myself, a day of fun where I did exactly anything and everything I wanted in that moment.
When was that last time you did even one fun activity a day? Maybe you don’t need to take a whole day for yourself, but what about just one activity? How many of us are wasting away our lives at some job, wasting our time for money, to survive? What are you living for?
I know none of my activities today mean anything other than enjoyment but it adds to my vitality. It adds to my quality of life, it brings me joy and happiness, a feeling of peace. It brings out my creative juices and nothing makes me feel more alive than being creative!
I extend an invitation to you: do one thing tomorrow that you do just for fun. I promise you will not only have fun but feel a bit more rejuvenated to do the rest of your “survival” activities as well! Life is meant to be lived, so let’s begin living!
There is no great secret to success. I will tell you how to be successful right here and now. It’s about your word, integrity.
This isn’t necessarily about being honest, or doing what is morally right (although both of these qualities will add to your character). I am talking about following through with what you say you will do, keeping your commitments to yourself, and being responsible.
It starts with the smallest actions. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass!
Once we can learn to be a master at small things we can then take on larger projects that require greater responsibilities. Being a steward over one’s own life and mastering one little thing at a time gives us the confidence we can succeed.
It is not rocket science. It is about proving to yourself you know you can do what you say…following through with your word. Do you think you have the confidence to manage a company of you can’t manage keeping your room clean? Do you believe you can actually show up for work every day at your dream job if you don’t wake up when your alarm goes off? Can you ever lose those 30 pounds if you don’t say no to the cookies? Can you really have a happy marriage (“one day” when you meet that special woman) if you have yet to stay faithful to any of the previous girls you have dated? If doing your laundry is your week’s greatest challenge you need to take a look at yourself and your integrity!
Will you actually accept that next promising opportunity that plops into your lap when you have failed to fulfill on just the simple things in your life? This is why we so often stay hidden in the dark corners of life, afraid we will fail because we don’t do the little things and that destroys our self worth. WE LOSE FAITH IN OUR SELF AND OUR CAPABILITIES because how we show up in one area of our life is how we show up in almost every area of our life! It is called the microcosm of the macrocosm and consciously or unconsciously we are aware of this and act accordingly, scared to really shine.
When you fulfill with the simple things you build up your self-trust and self confidence that you know you can do what you say you will do! This in turn builds up your self worth which gives you the courage to take big action.
Having integrity is simple. Just do what you say. If you can’t do it don’t commit to it to begin with. A life of excellence doesn’t just happen overnight, it is years of accumulated commitments met, time after time on your word, starting with the most simple actions.
The steps to living with integrity are:
1.) Pay attention to the words you speak.
2.) Say only things you actually intend to do.
3.) Keep your word and watch your excellent life begin.
There it is: the secret to success, and although it sounds simple it brings about great results, remember by small and simple things are great things brought to pass!
I am about to get up in front of two thousand people and speak. My heart is beating, I start to sweat and my leg won’t stop shaking. I take a deep breath and say to myself, “Davia, you can do this, you have done it before, you can do it again!”
As I begin to talk and hear my voice throughout the auditorium I forget all that fear and am just present in that moment, simply speaking. After I sit down it is a whole other experience. I feel so exhilarated and alive! I feel full of gratitude and I am proud of myself for doing something that was so scary.
I have spoken many times now in front of small and large groups of people and each time, I feel that same feeling. Those of you who know me may be surprised to know, I feel so scared. Haha well here is a little confession for you… when I left on my mission and had to speak at church, I was so nervous that I wrote my talk two months before and read it every day until it was memorized!! That is how scared I was! Fear is an interesting little element to life but holds a sweet secret to success.
For the most part I notice people shying away from experiences that elicit fear. And I am going to offer an interesting invitation, to do just the opposite!
Fear on a physical level is there to protect us and keep us healthy and safe (ie don’t jump off the roof bc I could get hurt). I am not talking about that fear. I am talking about the fear you feel, when you think about quitting your job, asking a girl out on a date, before an interview, an audition, starting a new career, travelling, falling in love, or anything else you want in your heart that you are afraid to actually go after! I want to talk about that fear!
Ask yourself what you really want? Think about it for a second…really contemplate what that is. Then ask yourself why you haven’t got it yet, why you are not doing that yet. You will begin to see little fears come forward. These fears will either be associated with the fear of failure, or the fear of success (and the responsibility that would come with that success).
What do you do in your life, when you feel fear? Do you quickly make up an excuse and sit back down into your seat of comfort? Or do you step out into the adventure of what you truly want? What is harder for you to give up, comfort or your dream? We cannot have comfort and follow our dreams at the same time. In order for us to follow our dreams, we have to take courage. Courage can only occur when fear is present, and we take a step forward regardless of how scared we feel!
Embrace fear! When you notice you feel fear in your life, let that be a signal to you, that you are about to do something you need to fulfill your dream! There is something at stake there, otherwise you wouldn’t feel scared! Let the fear show you that you are on the right path! And when you step into the darkness rather than freeze, run! RUN into the unknown with the faith you are doing exactly what you need to do, to get closer to fulfilling your dream!
It is not easy, but it is worth it. I know it is scary, and the fear will always be there, once you pass through one threshold a new one will soon arrive, letting you know the next step that must be taken. So get ready my friends, for the time of your lives! When all is said and done and you look back, what will you say you did? Played it safe or lived a life you loved?